You need to see this video to get this joke:
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
A Cute Romantic Story
So I decided that I'd ask her to marry me.
Or ask her if she would marry me.
Or say that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
Or tell her I loved her, and that I wanted her to be with me forever.
Or give her a ring -- a big, huge diamond ring. Or just get down on my
knees and let my eyes say it all.
Well, I had reached a decision. What exactly I was going to do about
it, I didn't know -- at least not yet.
It's now exactly one year since the first time I had started talking
with her-- an anniversary of sorts. I remembered, because that
>first time was New Year.
And tomorrow it's New Year again.
And we had become close friends.
And I had fallen in love.
And since I am a simple-minded sort of guy, I have decided I want to
marry her.
But How to tell her, though, was a bit of a problem.
There were so many ways to do it and choosing the right one wasn't
easy. And I had no idea how she'd react.
Would she think I was moving too fast?
Was it too early to suggest marriage?
Was she even interested in me in that way?
Surely, the best way to find out was to tell her how I felt, and ask
her if she felt the same.
And if she did, then we could get married. Right?
These thoughts had been in my head from the moment I had
>woken up that morning. And I'd only been awake a few minutes. As I finished
>brushing my teeth, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi!" It was her.
The sound of her cheery voice took my breath away. "Hi!" I replied,
almost whispering.
"Listen," she said, sounding very excited. "I'm having a
>party at home tonight. Be there at eight."
"Sure," I replied.
"Ok, bye!" And she put the phone down.
I stood there for almost a minute, staring at the phone in my hand.
And then I stupidly said "Bye" to it.
I would have to reach the party early, to tell her in private. Or
should I say it right there in front of all the guests? Or after the
party, when we were cleaning up after everyone was gone?
And what was I going to get her? Should I get her anything at
>all? How
about flowers? Roses? Or was that too clichéd?
Orchids sounded better.
Or bluebells.
Or tulips.
Or cauliflower.
I checked my thoughts. No. Not cauliflower.
It's New Year.
A gift was definitely in order.
I could get her that moonstone pendant she liked so much.
But then it was a little flimsy as a gift.
It was really a toy more than a piece of jewellery.
But did it matter if she really liked it?
Should I get her a book instead?
Or a CD?
Or an earring?
Or should I make her something?
I thought about my artistic skills and decided that that was probably
not a good idea.
I spent so much time looking for a suitable gift all day that by the
time I decided that flowers would be a better option, all the florists had closed.
And it was also too late to try to get to her house early and catch her alone.
So I decided I'd tell her after the party when everyone was gone. And
that I wouldn't get her anything -- more because I couldn't, than
anything else.
Feeling like a fool, and extremely nervous, I reached her doorstep. I
was on time, but there didn't seem to be any noise coming from inside.
Maybe no one had turned up yet. After all, who came to a party on time?
I stood there and composed myself for a minute.
Then, reasonably confident that the turmoil I was going through
wouldn't show, I knocked.
She opened the door, but only a fraction.
She slid out without opening the door completely, handed me a
>piece of cloth, and told me to tie it around my eyes. "We're playing
>Blind Man's Buff," she said.
Meekly, I put the blindfold on, and she led me into the house. There
was silence, and no one was making a sound. Quite sneaky of
>everyone, I thought to myself.
She spun me around a little, and then made me stop.
She backed away, and then said from somewhere behind me, "Ok, you can
take it off now."
Though a little confused as to what version of Blind Man's Buff was
played after taking the blindfold off, I complied.
And as soon as I opened my eyes, I froze.
I was standing in the middle of her empty living room, and the lights
had all been turned off. But the room was brightly lit with dozens of
candles.
And on the wall in front of me, was a big poster with the following
words on it:
One year ago, this day we met.
There was an arrow pointing to the right, beside the poster.
So I turned. On the next wall were the words:
One year of friendship
One year of joy
One year of laughter
between a girl and a boy
One year of comfort
One year of closeness
One year of peace
and a whole lot of happiness
On the third wall, was:
One year or Six,
a lifetime it seems,
And yet, it feels just like yesterday
I turned to look at the fourth wall, and there, standing in front of
it, was she, holding up a poster in her hands that said:
I want to be this happy forever
Will You Marry Me?
Or ask her if she would marry me.
Or say that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
Or tell her I loved her, and that I wanted her to be with me forever.
Or give her a ring -- a big, huge diamond ring. Or just get down on my
knees and let my eyes say it all.
Well, I had reached a decision. What exactly I was going to do about
it, I didn't know -- at least not yet.
It's now exactly one year since the first time I had started talking
with her-- an anniversary of sorts. I remembered, because that
>first time was New Year.
And tomorrow it's New Year again.
And we had become close friends.
And I had fallen in love.
And since I am a simple-minded sort of guy, I have decided I want to
marry her.
But How to tell her, though, was a bit of a problem.
There were so many ways to do it and choosing the right one wasn't
easy. And I had no idea how she'd react.
Would she think I was moving too fast?
Was it too early to suggest marriage?
Was she even interested in me in that way?
Surely, the best way to find out was to tell her how I felt, and ask
her if she felt the same.
And if she did, then we could get married. Right?
These thoughts had been in my head from the moment I had
>woken up that morning. And I'd only been awake a few minutes. As I finished
>brushing my teeth, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi!" It was her.
The sound of her cheery voice took my breath away. "Hi!" I replied,
almost whispering.
"Listen," she said, sounding very excited. "I'm having a
>party at home tonight. Be there at eight."
"Sure," I replied.
"Ok, bye!" And she put the phone down.
I stood there for almost a minute, staring at the phone in my hand.
And then I stupidly said "Bye" to it.
I would have to reach the party early, to tell her in private. Or
should I say it right there in front of all the guests? Or after the
party, when we were cleaning up after everyone was gone?
And what was I going to get her? Should I get her anything at
>all? How
about flowers? Roses? Or was that too clichéd?
Orchids sounded better.
Or bluebells.
Or tulips.
Or cauliflower.
I checked my thoughts. No. Not cauliflower.
It's New Year.
A gift was definitely in order.
I could get her that moonstone pendant she liked so much.
But then it was a little flimsy as a gift.
It was really a toy more than a piece of jewellery.
But did it matter if she really liked it?
Should I get her a book instead?
Or a CD?
Or an earring?
Or should I make her something?
I thought about my artistic skills and decided that that was probably
not a good idea.
I spent so much time looking for a suitable gift all day that by the
time I decided that flowers would be a better option, all the florists had closed.
And it was also too late to try to get to her house early and catch her alone.
So I decided I'd tell her after the party when everyone was gone. And
that I wouldn't get her anything -- more because I couldn't, than
anything else.
Feeling like a fool, and extremely nervous, I reached her doorstep. I
was on time, but there didn't seem to be any noise coming from inside.
Maybe no one had turned up yet. After all, who came to a party on time?
I stood there and composed myself for a minute.
Then, reasonably confident that the turmoil I was going through
wouldn't show, I knocked.
She opened the door, but only a fraction.
She slid out without opening the door completely, handed me a
>piece of cloth, and told me to tie it around my eyes. "We're playing
>Blind Man's Buff," she said.
Meekly, I put the blindfold on, and she led me into the house. There
was silence, and no one was making a sound. Quite sneaky of
>everyone, I thought to myself.
She spun me around a little, and then made me stop.
She backed away, and then said from somewhere behind me, "Ok, you can
take it off now."
Though a little confused as to what version of Blind Man's Buff was
played after taking the blindfold off, I complied.
And as soon as I opened my eyes, I froze.
I was standing in the middle of her empty living room, and the lights
had all been turned off. But the room was brightly lit with dozens of
candles.
And on the wall in front of me, was a big poster with the following
words on it:
One year ago, this day we met.
There was an arrow pointing to the right, beside the poster.
So I turned. On the next wall were the words:
One year of friendship
One year of joy
One year of laughter
between a girl and a boy
One year of comfort
One year of closeness
One year of peace
and a whole lot of happiness
On the third wall, was:
One year or Six,
a lifetime it seems,
And yet, it feels just like yesterday
I turned to look at the fourth wall, and there, standing in front of
it, was she, holding up a poster in her hands that said:
I want to be this happy forever
Will You Marry Me?
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Hilarious joke -- Must Read
An English university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:
1) Religion 2) Royalty 3) Sex 4) Mystery
The prizewinner wrote: "My God," said the queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
1) Religion 2) Royalty 3) Sex 4) Mystery
The prizewinner wrote: "My God," said the queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
Science Joke -- Newton's tricks
Once all the scientists die and go to
heaven...... ......
They decide to play hide-n-seek. ........
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the
den......... ..
He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start
searching... ..
Everyone starts hiding except Newton .........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it
right in front of Einstein.... ........
Einstein's counting
1, 2, 3......97, 98, 99.... ..100....... .
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in
front....... .
Einstein says " Newton 's out. Newton 's....out. ...."
Newton denies and says I am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton ......
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that
he is not Newton ...
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1 meter
squared.....
That makes me Newton per meter squared..... .
Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm
Pascal,
Therefore Pascal is OUT......... ..!
heaven...... ......
They decide to play hide-n-seek. ........
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the
den......... ..
He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start
searching... ..
Everyone starts hiding except Newton .........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it
right in front of Einstein.... ........
Einstein's counting
1, 2, 3......97, 98, 99.... ..100....... .
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in
front....... .
Einstein says " Newton 's out. Newton 's....out. ...."
Newton denies and says I am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton ......
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that
he is not Newton ...
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1 meter
squared.....
That makes me Newton per meter squared..... .
Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm
Pascal,
Therefore Pascal is OUT......... ..!
Hilarious joke -- Pay attention to a doctor!
First-year students at Medical College were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."
For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them calmly and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention"!!!!!!
For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them calmly and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention"!!!!!!
Friday, March 9, 2007
Hilarious joke -- Never tease a woman!
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said
"Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for few months to see if it is a girl !!!"
Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said
"Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for few months to see if it is a girl !!!"
Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!
A beautiful poem
A thick haze settles over the ocean,
The horizon turns pink as far as the eye can see.
All creatures hurry back home,
As the sun plunges into the sea.
Someone somewhere made a fortune today,
Someone somewhere lost all that he ever had.
Someone will sleep with a smile on his face,
Someone with a heavy heart will be sad.
Someone somewhere was born to rule,
Someone somewhere was born to die.
Someone today found someone he loves,
Someone has left someone to cry.
Someone's life has changed today,
For some, it was just another day.
Someone somewhere is dumbfounded by his good fate,
Someone has nothing more left to say.
The beauty of this setting sun,
Is too divine for me to summarize.
As I sit here and watch the setting sun,
Someone somewhere sees it rise......
The horizon turns pink as far as the eye can see.
All creatures hurry back home,
As the sun plunges into the sea.
Someone somewhere made a fortune today,
Someone somewhere lost all that he ever had.
Someone will sleep with a smile on his face,
Someone with a heavy heart will be sad.
Someone somewhere was born to rule,
Someone somewhere was born to die.
Someone today found someone he loves,
Someone has left someone to cry.
Someone's life has changed today,
For some, it was just another day.
Someone somewhere is dumbfounded by his good fate,
Someone has nothing more left to say.
The beauty of this setting sun,
Is too divine for me to summarize.
As I sit here and watch the setting sun,
Someone somewhere sees it rise......
Humorous quotes!
1. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I
can't remember the other two... -- Sir Norman Wisdom
2. One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that
even a bargain costs money. -- Edgar Watson Howe
3. A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your
success! -- Doug Larson
4. A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie! -- Eric Bolton
5. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized
that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive
me. -- Erno Philips
6. I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. -- Robert Paul
7. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to
walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. -- Phyllis Diller
8. Laughter is the closest distance between two people. -- Victor Borge
9. Start every day with a smile and get it over with. -- W.C. Fields
10. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. -- Will Rogers
11. Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out,
you haven't wasted a whole day. -- Mickey Rooney
12. Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not
have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the
same choice we've always had: work or prison. -- Tim Allen
13. If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry
you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner
14. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -- Woody Allen
15. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn't. -- Erica Jong
16. Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
17. Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson
18. In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found
out. -- Joey Adams
19. I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds
out, she'll kill me. -- Henry Youngman
20. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already
born ? -- Benny Hill
can't remember the other two... -- Sir Norman Wisdom
2. One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that
even a bargain costs money. -- Edgar Watson Howe
3. A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your
success! -- Doug Larson
4. A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie! -- Eric Bolton
5. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized
that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive
me. -- Erno Philips
6. I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. -- Robert Paul
7. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to
walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. -- Phyllis Diller
8. Laughter is the closest distance between two people. -- Victor Borge
9. Start every day with a smile and get it over with. -- W.C. Fields
10. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. -- Will Rogers
11. Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out,
you haven't wasted a whole day. -- Mickey Rooney
12. Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not
have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the
same choice we've always had: work or prison. -- Tim Allen
13. If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry
you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner
14. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -- Woody Allen
15. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn't. -- Erica Jong
16. Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
17. Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson
18. In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found
out. -- Joey Adams
19. I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds
out, she'll kill me. -- Henry Youngman
20. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already
born ? -- Benny Hill
Gorilla hunter - Awesome joke!
A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof.
So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers."
He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean huge dog.
"What are you going to do", the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the dog is trained to grab the gorilla's testicles and squeeze. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."
So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers."
He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean huge dog.
"What are you going to do", the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the dog is trained to grab the gorilla's testicles and squeeze. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."
Monday, March 5, 2007
All about SAGITTARIANS
SAGITTARIUS MAN
A man who loves social life and curious about every new progress, new development to make sure he is in the era and always have all up date information. He likes to know what is the latest trend of fashion and make sure he is not out of style. You can easily spot him at the grand opening of new pub, new restaurant for he loves to participate in social activity.
There is a few Sagittarius who is a private person as well, but you could see that he will be ahead of his friends. He will know what is the best seller book, what are the top 10 hot hit of the week. The hottest movies showing now, he must have already seen it.
He hates routine, It makes him bored. He likes to get to his goals and succeeding in doing so is his true reward. Money making is O.K. but it is not his true joy, for he can easily spent them in a short while. They say if you want the truth, go and ask Sagittarius. They are right, you can ask him and he will tell you all the truth and very straight forward. Even he may speak bluntly, his friends loves him. If you have problems, all your friends may feel sorry for you, but Sagittarius will be the one who will give you a helping hand first and even expect no return favor. That's why he is a real charmer even sometimes big mouth.
When he is mad , he can be quite fierce but quickly dissolve and easily forgotten. He is not a person who will take a revenge, so if he say he going to burn down your house, you can relax. He likes compliments and sweet words, so you can manipulate him easily. If he knows you are not sincere, you will totally become meaningless to him.
Some Sagittarius are gifted musician, or singer. He is a happy soul, has a good humor and has lots of jokes. He loves freedom, lively and very energetic. If he is working, he will take his job seriously. He likes to travel, likes to see new exciting places. Going out or traveling make him happy.
Sagittarius man is like a free bird. He lives as if everyday is Sunday. He will hardly be in a bad mood, but if he is in a bad mood, you will better leave his sight. If you want to talk to him in such mood, try to avoid issue of commenting his life. He flirts like other man, but he has a built in brake, so he will come back to you by himself. If he disappear for a few days, not to worry for he is only recharging his battery to be that same lively person again, them he will be back.
He has allergies to Pretty woman, so in love with many woman for him would be normal. Setting dating schedule is his games and it's fun for him, and this will keep him from being bored. He hates obligations, so the word "marriage" would suffocate him. If you allow him to have freedom, he will not go anywhere.
He falls in love as easy as he catches cold, especially if she is cute, funny and she has a strong personality. No one can tell how long he will be in love each time. If you want to really hold Sagittarius man, act like you are in an adventure movie. At all time, you should make yourself lively, tells him some jokes, always be cute so that it will ease up his allergy to other pretty woman a bit.
SAGITTARIUS WOMAN
A tall slim and graceful woman who walked proudly like she is walking in a beauty pageant competition. If she slips or nearly falls, she will nicely covered it up and continue with her graceful and impressive walking step. She knows how to use make up to enhance her beauty. She looks at the world positively, so her face always seem so happy. She will not get up set easily.
Self confident woman who belief in her own style. She will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern. She is a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt. She is an honest person and never try to cause troubles for any one.
She likes to say something that you do not want to hear and yet she can say something so pleasing at the same time. Example she may say "I wish you could make more money, so you could afford better cloth, but anyway it is better this way. If you make more money you could be thinking of money too much and become greedy". She can say such thing and make you wonder if you should get up set or love her more.
She is also a free spirit and does not like to stay home. She likes to be protected, but not to give her orders. She has no respect to a weak man. If she try to over powered you, then you have to calm her down and try to control her to be in a limit by doing the same thing too. She will listen if she respect you. She likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself.
She is a no nonsense woman, so you will not hear she says " Guess what I will do next", or "Guess what I am thinking" because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy. If you do not understand her in this matter, you could easily break up with her. She sees problems in her love life as another funny story.
She is clumsy and it is in her nature. You may think it is cute, but for some neat guys this could be so unbearable. She is very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends. She has good taste in fine cloths, good food, first class and first services. Even a poor woman in this Zodiac will struggle to afford such good taste. She could spent lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money. If you think of let her borrow money, think again.
She is a paranoid. If she thinks you like her, she may already think about getting marry and lost her freedom and so on and on. A jolly woman who loves sports. She is an ordinary woman who could dress like a tomboy. She has more guy friends and sometimes could act like one of a guy. She does not care about rumors, so she can get home very late and couldn't careless what her neighbor will gossip about her. She thinks either good or bad, you will know it yourself , so you should not bother what people think.
Her wit and innocent look are her charms. She is often hurts from love, but never afraid to look for a new one as if she is singing "Do that to me one more time". She likes going straight and being straight forward. She will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something. If you meet her and tell her straight what you think, she will admire you.
A man who loves social life and curious about every new progress, new development to make sure he is in the era and always have all up date information. He likes to know what is the latest trend of fashion and make sure he is not out of style. You can easily spot him at the grand opening of new pub, new restaurant for he loves to participate in social activity.
There is a few Sagittarius who is a private person as well, but you could see that he will be ahead of his friends. He will know what is the best seller book, what are the top 10 hot hit of the week. The hottest movies showing now, he must have already seen it.
He hates routine, It makes him bored. He likes to get to his goals and succeeding in doing so is his true reward. Money making is O.K. but it is not his true joy, for he can easily spent them in a short while. They say if you want the truth, go and ask Sagittarius. They are right, you can ask him and he will tell you all the truth and very straight forward. Even he may speak bluntly, his friends loves him. If you have problems, all your friends may feel sorry for you, but Sagittarius will be the one who will give you a helping hand first and even expect no return favor. That's why he is a real charmer even sometimes big mouth.
When he is mad , he can be quite fierce but quickly dissolve and easily forgotten. He is not a person who will take a revenge, so if he say he going to burn down your house, you can relax. He likes compliments and sweet words, so you can manipulate him easily. If he knows you are not sincere, you will totally become meaningless to him.
Some Sagittarius are gifted musician, or singer. He is a happy soul, has a good humor and has lots of jokes. He loves freedom, lively and very energetic. If he is working, he will take his job seriously. He likes to travel, likes to see new exciting places. Going out or traveling make him happy.
Sagittarius man is like a free bird. He lives as if everyday is Sunday. He will hardly be in a bad mood, but if he is in a bad mood, you will better leave his sight. If you want to talk to him in such mood, try to avoid issue of commenting his life. He flirts like other man, but he has a built in brake, so he will come back to you by himself. If he disappear for a few days, not to worry for he is only recharging his battery to be that same lively person again, them he will be back.
He has allergies to Pretty woman, so in love with many woman for him would be normal. Setting dating schedule is his games and it's fun for him, and this will keep him from being bored. He hates obligations, so the word "marriage" would suffocate him. If you allow him to have freedom, he will not go anywhere.
He falls in love as easy as he catches cold, especially if she is cute, funny and she has a strong personality. No one can tell how long he will be in love each time. If you want to really hold Sagittarius man, act like you are in an adventure movie. At all time, you should make yourself lively, tells him some jokes, always be cute so that it will ease up his allergy to other pretty woman a bit.
SAGITTARIUS WOMAN
A tall slim and graceful woman who walked proudly like she is walking in a beauty pageant competition. If she slips or nearly falls, she will nicely covered it up and continue with her graceful and impressive walking step. She knows how to use make up to enhance her beauty. She looks at the world positively, so her face always seem so happy. She will not get up set easily.
Self confident woman who belief in her own style. She will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern. She is a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt. She is an honest person and never try to cause troubles for any one.
She likes to say something that you do not want to hear and yet she can say something so pleasing at the same time. Example she may say "I wish you could make more money, so you could afford better cloth, but anyway it is better this way. If you make more money you could be thinking of money too much and become greedy". She can say such thing and make you wonder if you should get up set or love her more.
She is also a free spirit and does not like to stay home. She likes to be protected, but not to give her orders. She has no respect to a weak man. If she try to over powered you, then you have to calm her down and try to control her to be in a limit by doing the same thing too. She will listen if she respect you. She likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself.
She is a no nonsense woman, so you will not hear she says " Guess what I will do next", or "Guess what I am thinking" because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy. If you do not understand her in this matter, you could easily break up with her. She sees problems in her love life as another funny story.
She is clumsy and it is in her nature. You may think it is cute, but for some neat guys this could be so unbearable. She is very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends. She has good taste in fine cloths, good food, first class and first services. Even a poor woman in this Zodiac will struggle to afford such good taste. She could spent lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money. If you think of let her borrow money, think again.
She is a paranoid. If she thinks you like her, she may already think about getting marry and lost her freedom and so on and on. A jolly woman who loves sports. She is an ordinary woman who could dress like a tomboy. She has more guy friends and sometimes could act like one of a guy. She does not care about rumors, so she can get home very late and couldn't careless what her neighbor will gossip about her. She thinks either good or bad, you will know it yourself , so you should not bother what people think.
Her wit and innocent look are her charms. She is often hurts from love, but never afraid to look for a new one as if she is singing "Do that to me one more time". She likes going straight and being straight forward. She will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something. If you meet her and tell her straight what you think, she will admire you.
Funny!
Math's Teacher: If you have 12 choclates and you
Give 5 to Priya,
3 to Anita and
4 to Kavitha
Then what will u get????
Student: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!
Give 5 to Priya,
3 to Anita and
4 to Kavitha
Then what will u get????
Student: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!
A Priest's last wish -- Political Joke
The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital.
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton before I die." whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived.
Kennedy and Clinton would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Clinton commented to Kennedy
"I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." Kennedy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Kennedy's hand in his right hand and Clinton 's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Senator Kennedy spoke.
"Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
Amen" said Kennedy.
"Amen" said Clinton
The old priest continued... "He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton before I die." whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived.
Kennedy and Clinton would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Clinton commented to Kennedy
"I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." Kennedy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Kennedy's hand in his right hand and Clinton 's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Senator Kennedy spoke.
"Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
Amen" said Kennedy.
"Amen" said Clinton
The old priest continued... "He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."
Never mess with your manager... :)
Here is something interesting. ..
+++
Our FRIEND WAS chatting with a female - Online chat.
(Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's)
Hero : Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?
Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero : wow...am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat
Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.
Hero : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his desk ).
Manager : Hey, I need some help from you
Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me.
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero : I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Female: Hey, am back
Hero : cool, you know what my manager does, he's kinda..... keeps asking stupid tings, tries to give me stupid work.... $*#&$@
Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Hero : Yep, u rite!!
Female: Hey, can u do me a favor
Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.
Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work this out
Hero : hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now.
ok?
Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM ...!!
AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW !!
+++
Our FRIEND WAS chatting with a female - Online chat.
(Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's)
Hero : Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?
Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero : wow...am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat
Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.
Hero : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his desk ).
Manager : Hey, I need some help from you
Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me.
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero : I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Female: Hey, am back
Hero : cool, you know what my manager does, he's kinda..... keeps asking stupid tings, tries to give me stupid work.... $*#&$@
Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Hero : Yep, u rite!!
Female: Hey, can u do me a favor
Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.
Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work this out
Hero : hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now.
ok?
Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM ...!!
AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW !!
Managers are managers
A team of young budding Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole.
So the Managers discussed and put up a project plan with roles and responsibilities. The Manager who was responsible for organizing the resources went out and got a ladder and a tape. The tape measure was just the ordinary tape of 6 feet. The lead manager assigned another manager to go on top of the pole and start the measure. They were falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing was just a mess.
An Engineer came along and saw what they' were trying to do. He walked over pulled the flagpole out of the ground, laid it flat, measured it from end to end, gave the measurement to one of the managers and walked away.
After the Engineer went away, one manager turns head to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for height and he gives the length"
Moral: No matter how good engineer you are, Manager always finds fault in you.
So the Managers discussed and put up a project plan with roles and responsibilities. The Manager who was responsible for organizing the resources went out and got a ladder and a tape. The tape measure was just the ordinary tape of 6 feet. The lead manager assigned another manager to go on top of the pole and start the measure. They were falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing was just a mess.
An Engineer came along and saw what they' were trying to do. He walked over pulled the flagpole out of the ground, laid it flat, measured it from end to end, gave the measurement to one of the managers and walked away.
After the Engineer went away, one manager turns head to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for height and he gives the length"
Moral: No matter how good engineer you are, Manager always finds fault in you.
All about CAPRICORNS
CAPRICORN MAN
A man in this Zodiac will has a pair of round big beautiful eyes, a nice structure jaw line. He is a good listener and can understand everything easily and clearly. He can guess what you will say before you even say it. He often shakes his head or touch his hair. He is a big built, but he will tend to have a small ear. He tends to have a darker shade of hair and eyes' color. He will likely have a short and strong neck, broad shoulder, muscular, strong hands and grips. He has a shorter fingers compare to the man of the same size and same height in the other zodiac. His hands can work well at the same time can protect and care for his woman.
His height will be proportional to his weight. He will walk firmly and always take a big long step. As he walks he will look around in caution with no disturbance from his problems at present or in the past. He likes to watch things built with fascinate and wonder about how it is done, so you could see him watching a construction site and not get bored.
He is a good dancer. He is a careful person in instinct, so even at dance floor, he will already have to know what in front or behind him before he will take any steps.
Green is his favorite color. You will mostly see him wear green, navy, blue, or brown. In all 12 Zodiacs, he is the one who can get the most satisfaction from possession of beautiful thing, and cherish it as if it is very valuable to him even it is just a crystal ball made in France.
It is his luck that he hardly has to chase after woman. They always come themselves without his invitation. He likes to treat his guest in his house than visiting his guest at their house. He does not like to be a center of attention, so if you need his help, you have to look up for him. He lives his life in stability and simplicity. Every decision made are already "Sure" and carefully thought out. He will not do what he has been asked to do if he is not interested in doing it. He acts casually but in reality, he always doing things seriously.
He loves peaceful and quiet environment so in his free time, he will stay at home instead of going out and look for adventure. He loves nature and dreams of a nice and quiet house with lots of trees, or he may dream of a house in a beautiful countryside.
He will let you have freedoms and watching you in a distance. If you are over doing something, he will let you know by his icy cold look. He is the perfect lover in all the Zodiac for nothing he will not do for his love one. He won't allow people to laugh at him or think he is a joker, so he will spent for himself luxury for what it is worth.
He likes neat and well dressed woman, so do not be a slop if you are dating this guy. If you do that he will loose his face. He is the romantic type who would dance with you under the moon light.
Love will make him shines and you will see it in his face. He will not say it out loud, you have to know it yourself.
CAPRICORN WOMAN
A tall slim, cool and quiet woman. Once she is mad she can be very fierce. She can work better than some men and she is very high confident woman. In her opinion, woman is not just a flower or decoration at home or at an office and certainly not a weak sex who needs protection.
She likes to control and hide her weak emotions. She will never try to change anyone, but she will learn to accept them as they are. If she does not like someone, she will not comments or criticize but she will completely ignore that person.
She hate plastic and an artificial flower because it make her feel that you are not being sincere. She loves real flower and it's scent. She loves a guy who wear after shave cologne. If you are a type of a guy who wear your Jean one month before washing, or wear an old sneaker, then you can forget about her.
She loves music and nature even there is a rare case otherwise. She loves to go picnic in nature, so if you don't have so much time for her, you can take her fishing too.
She is not as jealous as Aquarius or Leo woman, but do not cross the line O.K. Better not to see she gets mad, especially in front of public when she feels like loosing face. She loves to make up and dress perfectly and very neat, so never rush her for this matter.
She has her own goal in life and does not care if you have a doctorate degree or not, if she thinks you are not bright then she will not care about you at all. She likes smart people by character not by certificate shown. If you can not show her this quality, go and take a bus and go to the next stop.
She does not like a dreamer who talk about his dream but never put his hands in action to make it happens. Don't bother to tell her "everyone is doing it, you should do it too", or "I think you should do it, it's good for you", because she will do what she wants to do only.
She is a neat and tidy person, so if your apartment is a pigsty , do not take her there. If you go out on a date with her , try to be presentable such as nice and clean dress, clean nails or else it will be your last date.
She is a cool type and will not nag, so easy on your ears. She is a slow but sure type. She will always respect and honor you and will never try to make you loose your face. If she loves you, she will help you in anything you do.
She likes to help people and expect nothing in return. If she asks you for a favor and does not get one, she will feel very disappoint. She has a high hope and a high faith and beliefs in her own confident than believing in "Luck".
If she is your wife, you will have nice and clean home and a gourmet cooking. If your parents visit your house, they will be please. She is a 3 in 1 means , a perfect mother, a perfect housewife, a perfect wife or you could say "happily ever after".
A man in this Zodiac will has a pair of round big beautiful eyes, a nice structure jaw line. He is a good listener and can understand everything easily and clearly. He can guess what you will say before you even say it. He often shakes his head or touch his hair. He is a big built, but he will tend to have a small ear. He tends to have a darker shade of hair and eyes' color. He will likely have a short and strong neck, broad shoulder, muscular, strong hands and grips. He has a shorter fingers compare to the man of the same size and same height in the other zodiac. His hands can work well at the same time can protect and care for his woman.
His height will be proportional to his weight. He will walk firmly and always take a big long step. As he walks he will look around in caution with no disturbance from his problems at present or in the past. He likes to watch things built with fascinate and wonder about how it is done, so you could see him watching a construction site and not get bored.
He is a good dancer. He is a careful person in instinct, so even at dance floor, he will already have to know what in front or behind him before he will take any steps.
Green is his favorite color. You will mostly see him wear green, navy, blue, or brown. In all 12 Zodiacs, he is the one who can get the most satisfaction from possession of beautiful thing, and cherish it as if it is very valuable to him even it is just a crystal ball made in France.
It is his luck that he hardly has to chase after woman. They always come themselves without his invitation. He likes to treat his guest in his house than visiting his guest at their house. He does not like to be a center of attention, so if you need his help, you have to look up for him. He lives his life in stability and simplicity. Every decision made are already "Sure" and carefully thought out. He will not do what he has been asked to do if he is not interested in doing it. He acts casually but in reality, he always doing things seriously.
He loves peaceful and quiet environment so in his free time, he will stay at home instead of going out and look for adventure. He loves nature and dreams of a nice and quiet house with lots of trees, or he may dream of a house in a beautiful countryside.
He will let you have freedoms and watching you in a distance. If you are over doing something, he will let you know by his icy cold look. He is the perfect lover in all the Zodiac for nothing he will not do for his love one. He won't allow people to laugh at him or think he is a joker, so he will spent for himself luxury for what it is worth.
He likes neat and well dressed woman, so do not be a slop if you are dating this guy. If you do that he will loose his face. He is the romantic type who would dance with you under the moon light.
Love will make him shines and you will see it in his face. He will not say it out loud, you have to know it yourself.
CAPRICORN WOMAN
A tall slim, cool and quiet woman. Once she is mad she can be very fierce. She can work better than some men and she is very high confident woman. In her opinion, woman is not just a flower or decoration at home or at an office and certainly not a weak sex who needs protection.
She likes to control and hide her weak emotions. She will never try to change anyone, but she will learn to accept them as they are. If she does not like someone, she will not comments or criticize but she will completely ignore that person.
She hate plastic and an artificial flower because it make her feel that you are not being sincere. She loves real flower and it's scent. She loves a guy who wear after shave cologne. If you are a type of a guy who wear your Jean one month before washing, or wear an old sneaker, then you can forget about her.
She loves music and nature even there is a rare case otherwise. She loves to go picnic in nature, so if you don't have so much time for her, you can take her fishing too.
She is not as jealous as Aquarius or Leo woman, but do not cross the line O.K. Better not to see she gets mad, especially in front of public when she feels like loosing face. She loves to make up and dress perfectly and very neat, so never rush her for this matter.
She has her own goal in life and does not care if you have a doctorate degree or not, if she thinks you are not bright then she will not care about you at all. She likes smart people by character not by certificate shown. If you can not show her this quality, go and take a bus and go to the next stop.
She does not like a dreamer who talk about his dream but never put his hands in action to make it happens. Don't bother to tell her "everyone is doing it, you should do it too", or "I think you should do it, it's good for you", because she will do what she wants to do only.
She is a neat and tidy person, so if your apartment is a pigsty , do not take her there. If you go out on a date with her , try to be presentable such as nice and clean dress, clean nails or else it will be your last date.
She is a cool type and will not nag, so easy on your ears. She is a slow but sure type. She will always respect and honor you and will never try to make you loose your face. If she loves you, she will help you in anything you do.
She likes to help people and expect nothing in return. If she asks you for a favor and does not get one, she will feel very disappoint. She has a high hope and a high faith and beliefs in her own confident than believing in "Luck".
If she is your wife, you will have nice and clean home and a gourmet cooking. If your parents visit your house, they will be please. She is a 3 in 1 means , a perfect mother, a perfect housewife, a perfect wife or you could say "happily ever after".
Personality test
PERSONALITY TEST
Very interesting. Just 3 questions and the answers will surprise you.
Do not cheat by looking up the answers. The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely. Do not cheat.
A Warning! Answer the questions as you go along.
There are only four questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results. Go down slowly and do each exercise as you scroll down. Don't look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along. You will need it at the end. This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self. Give an answer for each item.
1. Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference.
Cow Tiger Sheep Horse Pig
2. Write one word that describes each one of the following:
Dog
Cat
Rat
Coffee
Sea
3. Think of someone (who also knows you and is important to you) that you can relate them to the following colours (do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each colour.)
Yellow Orange Red White Green
Finished? Please be sure that your answers are what you REALLY WANT.
Look at the interpretations below:
1. This will define your priorities in your life.
Cow Signifies CAREER
Tiger Signifies PRIDE
Sheep Signifies LOVE
Horse Signifies FAMILY
Pig Signifies MONEY
2. Your description of dog implies your own personality.
Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.
Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.
Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex.
Your description of the sea implies your own life.
3. Yellow: Someone you will never forget
Orange: Someone you consider your true friend
Red: Someone that you really love
White: Your twin soul
Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest
of your life
Very interesting. Just 3 questions and the answers will surprise you.
Do not cheat by looking up the answers. The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely. Do not cheat.
A Warning! Answer the questions as you go along.
There are only four questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results. Go down slowly and do each exercise as you scroll down. Don't look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along. You will need it at the end. This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self. Give an answer for each item.
1. Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference.
Cow Tiger Sheep Horse Pig
2. Write one word that describes each one of the following:
Dog
Cat
Rat
Coffee
Sea
3. Think of someone (who also knows you and is important to you) that you can relate them to the following colours (do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each colour.)
Yellow Orange Red White Green
Finished? Please be sure that your answers are what you REALLY WANT.
Look at the interpretations below:
1. This will define your priorities in your life.
Cow Signifies CAREER
Tiger Signifies PRIDE
Sheep Signifies LOVE
Horse Signifies FAMILY
Pig Signifies MONEY
2. Your description of dog implies your own personality.
Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.
Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.
Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex.
Your description of the sea implies your own life.
3. Yellow: Someone you will never forget
Orange: Someone you consider your true friend
Red: Someone that you really love
White: Your twin soul
Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest
of your life
NOKIA - Tips and Tricks
To check the IMEI (International Mobile Equipment Identity) Type-
*#06#
Information you get from the IMEI-
XXXXXX XX XXXXXX X
TAC FAC SNR SP
TAC = Type approval code
FAC = Final assembly code
SNR = Serial number
SP = Spare
To check the phones Software revision type-
*#0000#
Information you get from the Software revision-
V 05.31
18-02-99
NSE-3
1ST Line = Software revision
2ND Line = The date of the software release
3RD Line = Phone type
To enter the service menu type-
*#92702689# (*#WAR0ANTY# )
Serial number (IMEI)
Production date (MM/YY)
Purchase date (MM/YY) You can only enter the date once.
Date of last repair (0000=No repair)
Transfer user data to another Nokia phone via Infra-Red
Clock Stopping
To check weather your SIM Card supports clock stopping type-
*#746025625# (*#SIM0CLOCK# )
Revealing the Headphone and Car-Kit menus
Please note that if you do these next tricks, the new menus can't be erased without retoring the factory default settings. To do these tricks you need to short-circuit the pins on the bottom of the phone next to where you plug in you charger.
1. To activate the "Headset" menu, you need to short-circuit pins "3" and "4". After a short time the word "Headset" will be shown in the display. Menu 3-6 is now enabled.
2. To activate the "Car" menu, you need to short-circuit pins "4" and "5". After a short time the word "Car" will be shown in the display. Menu 3-7 is now enabled.
THE REBOOT TRICK
This should work on all software versions of the 6110.
1. Go to the Calendar (Menu-8)
2. Make a note or reminder.
3. Enter some text into the edit box.
4. Hold "Clear" until the whole text is cleared, then press "Back".
5. Press "0". The main screen will now be showing but a space appears on the screen. (you can't see it)
6. Enter 4 digits (e.g. 1234).
7. Use the down arrow to move the cursor to the left side of the numbers and the space (Down arrow twice).
8. Now enter 6 digits and press the call button.
Wait for a few seconds, the screen should start to flash and reboots. It should alsowork on other menus like the "Profiles" menu.
EFR CALL QUALITY
To activate EFR (Enhanced Full Rate) Enter the code-
*3370#
This improves call quality but decreases batterylife by about 5%
To deactivate it, Enter the code-
#3370#
THE JAMES BOND TRICK
If you short-circuit theleft middle and right pins on the bottom of the phone with all connections touching each other, the Nokia software hangs! The profile "Headset" will be activated. Before you do this just activate the "Automatic Answer" in the headset profile and set the ringing volume to "Mute". Now you can use your phone for checking out what people are talking about in a room. Just place it under a table in a room and call it. The phone receives the call without ringing and you can listen to what people are saying.
NETWORK MONITOR
There is a hidden menu inside your Nokia phone. If you want to activate it, you'll have to re-program some chips inside of your phone.
Check your software version. You can only continue if you have v4.33, v4.73 or v5.24.
Take apart the phone.
De-solder the EEPROM (ATMEL AT 24C64).
Read out the data with an EEPROM programmer and save it to a file (Backup).
If you have v.33 or v4.73, change the address "03B8" from "00" to "FF".
If you have v5.24 then change the address "0378" from "00" to "FF".
Write the new data to the EEPROM and solder it back to the phone,
Power on your phone and you should have "Netmonitor" enabled.
The Network Monitor gives you the following information.
Carrier number
MS RX Level in DBM
Received signal quality
MS TX power level
C1 (Path loss criterion, used for cell selection and reselection) . The range is -99 to 99.
RTL (Radio link timeout).
Timeslot
Indication of the transmitter status
Information on the Network parameters.
TMSI (Temporary Mobile Subscriber Identity).
Cell identification (Cell ID, Number of cells being used).
MCC (Mobile country code)
MCN (Mobile network code)
LAC (Location area code)
Ciphering (On/Off)
Hopping (On/Off)
DTX (On/Off)
Discard cell barred information
CHECK SIM-LOCK
Note - If you bought your Nokia on UK Vodafone or UK Cellnet you do not need to check this because they both transmit on GSM900, and they don't lock the phones. However if you bought your phone on UK Orange or UK One2one your phone may be blocked. The reason is that they both transmitt on GSM1800. To make a call on GSM1800 you need what is known as a "Dual band" phone. A dual band phone is able to transmit on both GSM900 and GSM1800, so they lock the phones so you can't use it with any other network simcard. If you find that your phone is locked you can try different software to unlock it. (we havn't found one that works yet), or you can ask your service provider who will gladly exchange the 10 digit code for about £35.
This is how to check the status of the 4 different locks. Aslo don't try entering the wrong number, because after 3 times it will block the phone for good.
There are 4 different locks on your Nokia phone.
COUNTRY-LOCK
NETWORK-LOCK
PROVIDER-LOCK
SIMCARD-LOCK
The code to read out the sim-lock status of your phone is
#PW+(MASTERCODE) +(Y)#
# = DOUBLE-CROSS
W = PRESS "*" THREE TIMES
P = PRESS "*" FOUR TIMES
+ = PRESS "*" TWO TIMES
MASTERCODE = 1234567890
Y = NUMBER 1 TO 4
The master code is a secret code. The code has 10 digits, To read out the sim-lock status you can enter every combination you want!
"Y" Shows the status of the network-lock. Here you can enter a number from "1" to "4". The "4" is for the sim-card lock.
SIM-LOCK CHECKS
#PW+1234567890+ 1# = GIVES PROVIDER-LOCK STATUS
#PW+1234567890+ 2# = GIVES NETWORK-LOCK STATUS
#PW+1234567890+ 3# = GIVES COUNTRY-LOCK STATUS
#PW+1234567890+ 4# = GIVES SIM-CARD-LOCK STATUS.
*#06#
Information you get from the IMEI-
XXXXXX XX XXXXXX X
TAC FAC SNR SP
TAC = Type approval code
FAC = Final assembly code
SNR = Serial number
SP = Spare
To check the phones Software revision type-
*#0000#
Information you get from the Software revision-
V 05.31
18-02-99
NSE-3
1ST Line = Software revision
2ND Line = The date of the software release
3RD Line = Phone type
To enter the service menu type-
*#92702689# (*#WAR0ANTY# )
Serial number (IMEI)
Production date (MM/YY)
Purchase date (MM/YY) You can only enter the date once.
Date of last repair (0000=No repair)
Transfer user data to another Nokia phone via Infra-Red
Clock Stopping
To check weather your SIM Card supports clock stopping type-
*#746025625# (*#SIM0CLOCK# )
Revealing the Headphone and Car-Kit menus
Please note that if you do these next tricks, the new menus can't be erased without retoring the factory default settings. To do these tricks you need to short-circuit the pins on the bottom of the phone next to where you plug in you charger.
1. To activate the "Headset" menu, you need to short-circuit pins "3" and "4". After a short time the word "Headset" will be shown in the display. Menu 3-6 is now enabled.
2. To activate the "Car" menu, you need to short-circuit pins "4" and "5". After a short time the word "Car" will be shown in the display. Menu 3-7 is now enabled.
THE REBOOT TRICK
This should work on all software versions of the 6110.
1. Go to the Calendar (Menu-8)
2. Make a note or reminder.
3. Enter some text into the edit box.
4. Hold "Clear" until the whole text is cleared, then press "Back".
5. Press "0". The main screen will now be showing but a space appears on the screen. (you can't see it)
6. Enter 4 digits (e.g. 1234).
7. Use the down arrow to move the cursor to the left side of the numbers and the space (Down arrow twice).
8. Now enter 6 digits and press the call button.
Wait for a few seconds, the screen should start to flash and reboots. It should alsowork on other menus like the "Profiles" menu.
EFR CALL QUALITY
To activate EFR (Enhanced Full Rate) Enter the code-
*3370#
This improves call quality but decreases batterylife by about 5%
To deactivate it, Enter the code-
#3370#
THE JAMES BOND TRICK
If you short-circuit theleft middle and right pins on the bottom of the phone with all connections touching each other, the Nokia software hangs! The profile "Headset" will be activated. Before you do this just activate the "Automatic Answer" in the headset profile and set the ringing volume to "Mute". Now you can use your phone for checking out what people are talking about in a room. Just place it under a table in a room and call it. The phone receives the call without ringing and you can listen to what people are saying.
NETWORK MONITOR
There is a hidden menu inside your Nokia phone. If you want to activate it, you'll have to re-program some chips inside of your phone.
Check your software version. You can only continue if you have v4.33, v4.73 or v5.24.
Take apart the phone.
De-solder the EEPROM (ATMEL AT 24C64).
Read out the data with an EEPROM programmer and save it to a file (Backup).
If you have v.33 or v4.73, change the address "03B8" from "00" to "FF".
If you have v5.24 then change the address "0378" from "00" to "FF".
Write the new data to the EEPROM and solder it back to the phone,
Power on your phone and you should have "Netmonitor" enabled.
The Network Monitor gives you the following information.
Carrier number
MS RX Level in DBM
Received signal quality
MS TX power level
C1 (Path loss criterion, used for cell selection and reselection) . The range is -99 to 99.
RTL (Radio link timeout).
Timeslot
Indication of the transmitter status
Information on the Network parameters.
TMSI (Temporary Mobile Subscriber Identity).
Cell identification (Cell ID, Number of cells being used).
MCC (Mobile country code)
MCN (Mobile network code)
LAC (Location area code)
Ciphering (On/Off)
Hopping (On/Off)
DTX (On/Off)
Discard cell barred information
CHECK SIM-LOCK
Note - If you bought your Nokia on UK Vodafone or UK Cellnet you do not need to check this because they both transmit on GSM900, and they don't lock the phones. However if you bought your phone on UK Orange or UK One2one your phone may be blocked. The reason is that they both transmitt on GSM1800. To make a call on GSM1800 you need what is known as a "Dual band" phone. A dual band phone is able to transmit on both GSM900 and GSM1800, so they lock the phones so you can't use it with any other network simcard. If you find that your phone is locked you can try different software to unlock it. (we havn't found one that works yet), or you can ask your service provider who will gladly exchange the 10 digit code for about £35.
This is how to check the status of the 4 different locks. Aslo don't try entering the wrong number, because after 3 times it will block the phone for good.
There are 4 different locks on your Nokia phone.
COUNTRY-LOCK
NETWORK-LOCK
PROVIDER-LOCK
SIMCARD-LOCK
The code to read out the sim-lock status of your phone is
#PW+(MASTERCODE) +(Y)#
# = DOUBLE-CROSS
W = PRESS "*" THREE TIMES
P = PRESS "*" FOUR TIMES
+ = PRESS "*" TWO TIMES
MASTERCODE = 1234567890
Y = NUMBER 1 TO 4
The master code is a secret code. The code has 10 digits, To read out the sim-lock status you can enter every combination you want!
"Y" Shows the status of the network-lock. Here you can enter a number from "1" to "4". The "4" is for the sim-card lock.
SIM-LOCK CHECKS
#PW+1234567890+ 1# = GIVES PROVIDER-LOCK STATUS
#PW+1234567890+ 2# = GIVES NETWORK-LOCK STATUS
#PW+1234567890+ 3# = GIVES COUNTRY-LOCK STATUS
#PW+1234567890+ 4# = GIVES SIM-CARD-LOCK STATUS.
Jokes with a moral!
LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park,they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. And he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. And he was also gone. The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"
LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand,"Listen, " said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive.He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button."Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy.
LESSON II: "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"
LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA Whenthe American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you
Mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......??? "
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind Of 'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'am I ?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
LESSON III: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"
LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "
LESSON IV: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park,they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. And he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. And he was also gone. The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"
LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand,"Listen, " said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive.He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button."Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy.
LESSON II: "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"
LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA Whenthe American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you
Mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......??? "
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind Of 'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'am I ?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
LESSON III: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"
LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "
LESSON IV: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"
Enough is Enough
An old lady tottered into a lawyer's office and asked for help in arranging a divorce. "A divorce?" asked the unbelieving lawyer. "Tell me, how old are you?"
"I'm eighty-four, " answered the old lady.
"Eighty-four! And how old is your husband?"
"My husband is eighty-seven. "
"My, my," said the lawyer, "And how long have you been married?"
"Next September we will complete sixty-two years."
"Married for sixty-two years?! Why would you want a divorce now?"
"Because," the woman answered calmly, "enough is enough."
"I'm eighty-four, " answered the old lady.
"Eighty-four! And how old is your husband?"
"My husband is eighty-seven. "
"My, my," said the lawyer, "And how long have you been married?"
"Next September we will complete sixty-two years."
"Married for sixty-two years?! Why would you want a divorce now?"
"Because," the woman answered calmly, "enough is enough."
All about LIBRANS
LIBRA MAN
A man who has no balance like his Zodiac symbol. He is not the gentle, cool , calm and charming guy like what you see. He has another dark side of aggression, stubborn and he likes to start an argument the most. Sometimes he can be so depress and unstable. Up and down like he is trying to balance himself most of the time.
To many people, he is a friendly guy and always smile even when he is mad or up set. His voice always gentle and calm. he always set and comb his hair as if he comes out from a shampoo advertisement. Mostly Libra men are good looking, even the ugly one is charming. When he smiles, it is so bright that the whole world is smiling with him too.
When he is in a balance mood, he is the type of person you want to be with. In other unbalancing mood, he likes to make people argue about something and watching it with fascination and fun. He will wait to be the one who compromise and clear thing up. He likes to be in a conflicting conversation.
Libra man is lazy by nature. After his tired day at work, he likes to sit still and just look out of the window or read quietly. He likes to be in his own world. After recharging his battery, he will be very energetic again and may even take you out that night.
Libra man normally will not do any shocking or abnormal things to be noticed. He likes to be conformed with his crowd, but if you watch him carefully, you will see the different. If he wear a shirt, it will have to be a zipper front instead of buttons, or a special tie bar. There is always something in him that he will not allow totally conformity to take him over.
A straight forward , no non-sense guy. He is careful and delicate in details. He will spent extra time to doing it right, than comes back to correct them later. He hates people who boost, or exaggerate. He does not like over dressed woman or make herself a center of an attention.
He loves to read. He loves poems and loves art. When he works he can work like crazy, but after work he can turn on romantic jazzy music and treat you so gently. He loves to give people advice and normally give a good advice. If you fall for him, you will stay like being trapped in a spider web. If you want to break up with him, he will persuade you a zillion ways to stay and you can not stop him anyway. After he persuade you to stay, or after a big fight, he will be so sweet to you as if he has never hurt your feeling before ever.
He will has his own way to win a girl love and affection. Once she says yes, he will lay back and wonder if he should go on or if he should back out. In his teen, he changed many girl friends because he can not clearly separate loving a friend and loving a girl friend. He will check and re-cheek if his match is suitable and compatible with him.
Even he is a romantic man, he can hardly understand the emotion of the one he loves. He is a generous guy even he sets his life so systematically. He never knows when he makes you unhappy. He never knows how he up set you. He will never knows what he said wrong. If he is your lover, be prepare for this.
A not so pretty girl with no brain is not his type of woman. If you are not pretty enough, he will not mind talking to you but he does not care to get to know you. Any girls, pretty or ugly can ask for his help, he will be happy to help. He hates to argue by yelling at each other, so you tend to see he argue with his girl friend seriously but try at best to be very quiet.
He likes to have a girl friend by getting to know each other like a friend first. If you want him, you have to like the same thing he does. He prefers a pretty and gentle woman than a smart and ugly woman. You have to understand his mood especially he can has many different moods. He is a private person, so when he needs to be alone better let him be.
LIBRA WOMAN
Libra woman mostly has an egg oval facial shape. She has a nice smooth skin and a good figure. She will spent so much efforts to keep her skin clean and pretty. She can be easily allergy to cosmetic and make up, but taken care of her face and avoid wrinkle is her hobby. She is good at it and tend to look younger than her age.
She can be very naughty like a little boy, but yet fully 100% woman. She looks nice in either Jean or night gown. She thinks woman is equal to man. Sometimes she can think faster than you, but she will not leave you far behind. She will try not to make you feel like you are competed or defeated in any games she plays with you even she is winning.
She is a little flirt even she has no idea what she wants. She can not decide what to do, and what not to do, so she can not set her schedule very well in all cases.
She is gifted with how to dress, and how to match her dress. She likes to dress in black and wear perfume. She likes a mild flowery scent.
In any argument, she can really argue. She can argue for hours, and mostly win the argument. If it is not a serious argument, she could argue and once a while give you a smile also. She will make a good politician, because she can tell which party will win the election.
She always has a good reasons ,even she likes to contradict herself. She can not decide what is right and wrong for her, because everything has a good side and a bad side. Woman in other Zodiac might not care what other people think, but Libra woman care what other people ,or what you feel as much as her own feeling.
She can adjust to her environment very well, so at work she will be at the ladder up. She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her for help or advice, she will help you except if she does not like your guts. She can change you and make you think you change by yourself without her influence.
Good side of being with Libra woman are she never interfere with your privacy. She will not make you loose face in front of your friends. Even she cares about how much money she has left his her bank account, she will never forget to let you know how much she cares for you.
She think taken care of the house is a woman job and she can do it well. But if you expect a Libra woman to fear you, then you are wrong. She is a strong woman even she looks at you with that sweet innocent pairs of baby's looks and may loose you (let you win) in a few poker games.
If she is the one you are after, then go step by step. The best way is using her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or treat her like a bubble head. You have to move forward toward her with confident and secure. Show her that you are a kind , polite and a real gentleman. Be a slow hand or else you might get smack!
A man who has no balance like his Zodiac symbol. He is not the gentle, cool , calm and charming guy like what you see. He has another dark side of aggression, stubborn and he likes to start an argument the most. Sometimes he can be so depress and unstable. Up and down like he is trying to balance himself most of the time.
To many people, he is a friendly guy and always smile even when he is mad or up set. His voice always gentle and calm. he always set and comb his hair as if he comes out from a shampoo advertisement. Mostly Libra men are good looking, even the ugly one is charming. When he smiles, it is so bright that the whole world is smiling with him too.
When he is in a balance mood, he is the type of person you want to be with. In other unbalancing mood, he likes to make people argue about something and watching it with fascination and fun. He will wait to be the one who compromise and clear thing up. He likes to be in a conflicting conversation.
Libra man is lazy by nature. After his tired day at work, he likes to sit still and just look out of the window or read quietly. He likes to be in his own world. After recharging his battery, he will be very energetic again and may even take you out that night.
Libra man normally will not do any shocking or abnormal things to be noticed. He likes to be conformed with his crowd, but if you watch him carefully, you will see the different. If he wear a shirt, it will have to be a zipper front instead of buttons, or a special tie bar. There is always something in him that he will not allow totally conformity to take him over.
A straight forward , no non-sense guy. He is careful and delicate in details. He will spent extra time to doing it right, than comes back to correct them later. He hates people who boost, or exaggerate. He does not like over dressed woman or make herself a center of an attention.
He loves to read. He loves poems and loves art. When he works he can work like crazy, but after work he can turn on romantic jazzy music and treat you so gently. He loves to give people advice and normally give a good advice. If you fall for him, you will stay like being trapped in a spider web. If you want to break up with him, he will persuade you a zillion ways to stay and you can not stop him anyway. After he persuade you to stay, or after a big fight, he will be so sweet to you as if he has never hurt your feeling before ever.
He will has his own way to win a girl love and affection. Once she says yes, he will lay back and wonder if he should go on or if he should back out. In his teen, he changed many girl friends because he can not clearly separate loving a friend and loving a girl friend. He will check and re-cheek if his match is suitable and compatible with him.
Even he is a romantic man, he can hardly understand the emotion of the one he loves. He is a generous guy even he sets his life so systematically. He never knows when he makes you unhappy. He never knows how he up set you. He will never knows what he said wrong. If he is your lover, be prepare for this.
A not so pretty girl with no brain is not his type of woman. If you are not pretty enough, he will not mind talking to you but he does not care to get to know you. Any girls, pretty or ugly can ask for his help, he will be happy to help. He hates to argue by yelling at each other, so you tend to see he argue with his girl friend seriously but try at best to be very quiet.
He likes to have a girl friend by getting to know each other like a friend first. If you want him, you have to like the same thing he does. He prefers a pretty and gentle woman than a smart and ugly woman. You have to understand his mood especially he can has many different moods. He is a private person, so when he needs to be alone better let him be.
LIBRA WOMAN
Libra woman mostly has an egg oval facial shape. She has a nice smooth skin and a good figure. She will spent so much efforts to keep her skin clean and pretty. She can be easily allergy to cosmetic and make up, but taken care of her face and avoid wrinkle is her hobby. She is good at it and tend to look younger than her age.
She can be very naughty like a little boy, but yet fully 100% woman. She looks nice in either Jean or night gown. She thinks woman is equal to man. Sometimes she can think faster than you, but she will not leave you far behind. She will try not to make you feel like you are competed or defeated in any games she plays with you even she is winning.
She is a little flirt even she has no idea what she wants. She can not decide what to do, and what not to do, so she can not set her schedule very well in all cases.
She is gifted with how to dress, and how to match her dress. She likes to dress in black and wear perfume. She likes a mild flowery scent.
In any argument, she can really argue. She can argue for hours, and mostly win the argument. If it is not a serious argument, she could argue and once a while give you a smile also. She will make a good politician, because she can tell which party will win the election.
She always has a good reasons ,even she likes to contradict herself. She can not decide what is right and wrong for her, because everything has a good side and a bad side. Woman in other Zodiac might not care what other people think, but Libra woman care what other people ,or what you feel as much as her own feeling.
She can adjust to her environment very well, so at work she will be at the ladder up. She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her for help or advice, she will help you except if she does not like your guts. She can change you and make you think you change by yourself without her influence.
Good side of being with Libra woman are she never interfere with your privacy. She will not make you loose face in front of your friends. Even she cares about how much money she has left his her bank account, she will never forget to let you know how much she cares for you.
She think taken care of the house is a woman job and she can do it well. But if you expect a Libra woman to fear you, then you are wrong. She is a strong woman even she looks at you with that sweet innocent pairs of baby's looks and may loose you (let you win) in a few poker games.
If she is the one you are after, then go step by step. The best way is using her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or treat her like a bubble head. You have to move forward toward her with confident and secure. Show her that you are a kind , polite and a real gentleman. Be a slow hand or else you might get smack!
Newton's laws of romance
Universal law of Love:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "
First law of Love:
A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external
agent (brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy."
Second law of Love:
The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."
Third law of Love:
The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "
First law of Love:
A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external
agent (brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy."
Second law of Love:
The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."
Third law of Love:
The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Bush's parrot - Hilarious!
Laura Bush bought George a parrot for his birthday.
She told Dick Cheney, "The bird is so smart! George has already taught him to pronounce over 200 words!"
"Wow, that's pretty impressive," Cheney said. "But you do realize that he just says the words. He doesn't understand what they mean."
"That's okay," Laura replied. "Neither does the Parrot."
She told Dick Cheney, "The bird is so smart! George has already taught him to pronounce over 200 words!"
"Wow, that's pretty impressive," Cheney said. "But you do realize that he just says the words. He doesn't understand what they mean."
"That's okay," Laura replied. "Neither does the Parrot."
Three bones!
An Irish father was seeing his son off on a steamship where the lad was going to a new land with the intention of seeking his fortune in a new way of life.
"Now, Michael, my boy," said the father as they parted, "remember the three bones, and ye'll always get along all right."
A stranger standing nearby overheard the remark, and when the ship was underway, he asked the old gentleman what the three bones he referred to in his parting advice to his son.
"Sure, now," responded the old Irishman, "and wouldn't it be the wishbone and the jawbone and the backbone? It's the wishbone that keeps you going after things, and it's the jawbone that helps you find out how to go after them if you are not too proud to ask a question when there's something you don't know, and it's the backbone that keeps you at it until you get there."
"Now, Michael, my boy," said the father as they parted, "remember the three bones, and ye'll always get along all right."
A stranger standing nearby overheard the remark, and when the ship was underway, he asked the old gentleman what the three bones he referred to in his parting advice to his son.
"Sure, now," responded the old Irishman, "and wouldn't it be the wishbone and the jawbone and the backbone? It's the wishbone that keeps you going after things, and it's the jawbone that helps you find out how to go after them if you are not too proud to ask a question when there's something you don't know, and it's the backbone that keeps you at it until you get there."
Drunken drive
I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Mumma's Boy" on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Mumma's Boy" on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
Elbowing around - A must read!
A young lady is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: ''You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A.
Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you''
The boyfriend says: ''Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?''
"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?''
She says: ''You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A.
Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you''
The boyfriend says: ''Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?''
"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?''
Indian culture - too good!
A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a
beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:
A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
What a Crazy coincidence!
One month later, on various parts of the island,the following was
observed:
A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.
C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they spend
with the German woman.
D. The two Greek men are happy together, and the Greek woman is cooking
& cleaning for them.
E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long
look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.
F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island
trying to sell them the Mexican woman.
G. What happened to the Indians????
scroll down......
--
The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the
Indian woman!
beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:
A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
What a Crazy coincidence!
One month later, on various parts of the island,the following was
observed:
A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.
C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they spend
with the German woman.
D. The two Greek men are happy together, and the Greek woman is cooking
& cleaning for them.
E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long
look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.
F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island
trying to sell them the Mexican woman.
G. What happened to the Indians????
scroll down......
--
The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the
Indian woman!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Riddle!
We lock our lips on top of it...
We hold it in the middle...
We fire the bottom of it...
What is it?
I knew you would mistake me... It's just a cigar! :)
We hold it in the middle...
We fire the bottom of it...
What is it?
I knew you would mistake me... It's just a cigar! :)
A Mailman's last day at work!
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the f inal house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Screw him - - - give him a dollar."
The blonde then blushed and said, "The breakfast was my idea"
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the f inal house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Screw him - - - give him a dollar."
The blonde then blushed and said, "The breakfast was my idea"
Inititative matters!
Some years ago, three brothers left the farm to work in the city. They were all hired by the same company at the same pay. Three years later, Jim was being paid $500 a month, Frank was receiving $1,000, but George was now making $1,500.
Their father decided to visit the employer. He listened to the confused father and said, "I will let the boys explain for themselves."
Jim was summoned to the supervisor's office and was told, "Jim, I understand the Far East Importers has just brought in a large transport plane loaded with Japanese import goods. Will you please go over to the airport and get a cargo inventory?"
Three minutes later, Jim returned to the office. "The cargo was one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," Jim reported. "I got the information over the telephone from a member of the crew."
When Jim left, Frank, the $1,000 a month brother, was called. "Frank," said the supervisor, "I wish you'd go out to the airport and get an inventory of the cargo plane which was just brought in by Far East Importers."
An hour later, Frank was back in the office with a list showing that the plane carried 1,000 bolts of Japanese silk, 500 transistor radios, and 1,000 hand painted bamboo trays. George, the $1,500 a month brother, was given identical instructions. Working hours were over when he finally returned.
"The transport plane carried one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," he began. "It was on sale at sixty dollars a bolt, so I took a two-day option on the whole lot. I have wired a designer in New York offering the silk at seventy-five dollars a bolt. I expect to have the order tomorrow. I also found five hundred transistor radios, which I sold over the telephone at a profit of $2.30 each. There were a thousand bamboo trays, but they were of poor quality, so I didn't try to do anything with them."
When George left the office, the employer smiled. "You probably noticed," he said, "that Jim doesn't do what he's told, Frank does only what he'd told, but George does without being told."
The future is full of promise for one who shows initiative.
Their father decided to visit the employer. He listened to the confused father and said, "I will let the boys explain for themselves."
Jim was summoned to the supervisor's office and was told, "Jim, I understand the Far East Importers has just brought in a large transport plane loaded with Japanese import goods. Will you please go over to the airport and get a cargo inventory?"
Three minutes later, Jim returned to the office. "The cargo was one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," Jim reported. "I got the information over the telephone from a member of the crew."
When Jim left, Frank, the $1,000 a month brother, was called. "Frank," said the supervisor, "I wish you'd go out to the airport and get an inventory of the cargo plane which was just brought in by Far East Importers."
An hour later, Frank was back in the office with a list showing that the plane carried 1,000 bolts of Japanese silk, 500 transistor radios, and 1,000 hand painted bamboo trays. George, the $1,500 a month brother, was given identical instructions. Working hours were over when he finally returned.
"The transport plane carried one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," he began. "It was on sale at sixty dollars a bolt, so I took a two-day option on the whole lot. I have wired a designer in New York offering the silk at seventy-five dollars a bolt. I expect to have the order tomorrow. I also found five hundred transistor radios, which I sold over the telephone at a profit of $2.30 each. There were a thousand bamboo trays, but they were of poor quality, so I didn't try to do anything with them."
When George left the office, the employer smiled. "You probably noticed," he said, "that Jim doesn't do what he's told, Frank does only what he'd told, but George does without being told."
The future is full of promise for one who shows initiative.
Animated Resume -- Think different!
Check this out...
The guy posted his resume as an animated musical on the net and he was hired by Microsoft Graphics team
http://www.paradoxware.com/alstudio/cv/en.htm
Think different... Achieve better!
The guy posted his resume as an animated musical on the net and he was hired by Microsoft Graphics team
http://www.paradoxware.com/alstudio/cv/en.htm
Think different... Achieve better!
Monday, February 26, 2007
A Touching story!
“So, is this your first trip to a temple in the US?” asked his Manager driving the car and trying to make a conversation. But he was hardly listening and seemed lost in a world of his own. He was still upset over the whole episode with her and it seemed to him as if he was complicating matters for himself. When his Manager offered a ride to the Satyanarayanan Temple in Middletown he obliged just to escape from himself.
The problem with most of Indians is that we fail to draw a fine line between our professional and personal lives. We call our girlfriend, husband, Mom, friend in our office time and prepare documents, test plans, discuss appraisals at home. Then we end up screwing both professional and personal lives and end up dissatisfied. Two days before had finished a client presentation and was awaiting the result and it turned negative. He was in a foul mood and it was then that she called. He blasted his anger over her and switched over his mobile. The easiest thing for anyone of us is to release our anger on our near and dear ones as we take them for granted and he had done the same. It had been 2 days since and he had not called her and neither returned her calls a day before.
They parked their car outside in the parking lot which had lot of Honda’s, Toyota’s and Nissan’s which suggested the abundance presence of Indian fraternity inside the temple. The Middletown Satyanarayanan temple looked beautiful. It had a traditional Hindu construction with a Dravidian styled stepped pyramid structure. As they left their footwear before in the corridor he noticed a sign which read “Visa/Master card accepted for donations”. Seems that God had got wind of the fact that people produce counterfeit money and so now had decided to rely on advanced technology.
God it was nice to see someone clad in Churidar and Saree. In the beginning he had enjoyed the sight of women dressed in short skirts and tops and whatsoever, but as days progressed he realized that he yearned to see someone in traditional Indian dress and seems as if today his prayers were answered. Although when he looked at one women he got reminded of her. He was reminded how he used to go around the temple in his neighborhood holding his hand in hers. He moved forward and looked at the marble murthi of Radhe Krishna. Born and brought up in a south Indian environment he grew up to stone structures of gods and the marble one reminded him of the Marwadi temple in his neighborhood.
There was a sign which read “Cell Phones should not be used here” although a gentleman on his left was praying with a blue tooth device attached. Everyone around was praying something while he seemed lost in her thoughts. If there was bell outside God’s premises for prayers, maybe it was ringing damn loud now. The children seemed unaware of this and were running around playing hide and seek. One child was whispering something in Nandhi’s ear which reminded him of the same thing he did when he was studying in 3rd standard about a passmark in the Maths paper. Eventually he failed and cursed god for sometime about that.
Just then a women started to sing Vaishnava Janato and the whole atmosphere changed. There was something divine in her voice which made him break into a million pieces. He realized that his ego walls stood nowhere near his strong love for her. That was all that he could hold on to and he walked out of the temple and dialed the only number he remembered by heart. He said “Ma, Will you sing Vaishnava Janato for me?”
8000 odd miles and 10 and half hours apart his mother had no idea for her son’s sudden urge of viewers request. But as all moms do, she willfully obliged.
Halfway through the song, he was close to tears and confessed “Ma, did I tell you that I love you more than anything else on earth?”
Her reply was simple and sweet “You need not son”.
The problem with most of Indians is that we fail to draw a fine line between our professional and personal lives. We call our girlfriend, husband, Mom, friend in our office time and prepare documents, test plans, discuss appraisals at home. Then we end up screwing both professional and personal lives and end up dissatisfied. Two days before had finished a client presentation and was awaiting the result and it turned negative. He was in a foul mood and it was then that she called. He blasted his anger over her and switched over his mobile. The easiest thing for anyone of us is to release our anger on our near and dear ones as we take them for granted and he had done the same. It had been 2 days since and he had not called her and neither returned her calls a day before.
They parked their car outside in the parking lot which had lot of Honda’s, Toyota’s and Nissan’s which suggested the abundance presence of Indian fraternity inside the temple. The Middletown Satyanarayanan temple looked beautiful. It had a traditional Hindu construction with a Dravidian styled stepped pyramid structure. As they left their footwear before in the corridor he noticed a sign which read “Visa/Master card accepted for donations”. Seems that God had got wind of the fact that people produce counterfeit money and so now had decided to rely on advanced technology.
God it was nice to see someone clad in Churidar and Saree. In the beginning he had enjoyed the sight of women dressed in short skirts and tops and whatsoever, but as days progressed he realized that he yearned to see someone in traditional Indian dress and seems as if today his prayers were answered. Although when he looked at one women he got reminded of her. He was reminded how he used to go around the temple in his neighborhood holding his hand in hers. He moved forward and looked at the marble murthi of Radhe Krishna. Born and brought up in a south Indian environment he grew up to stone structures of gods and the marble one reminded him of the Marwadi temple in his neighborhood.
There was a sign which read “Cell Phones should not be used here” although a gentleman on his left was praying with a blue tooth device attached. Everyone around was praying something while he seemed lost in her thoughts. If there was bell outside God’s premises for prayers, maybe it was ringing damn loud now. The children seemed unaware of this and were running around playing hide and seek. One child was whispering something in Nandhi’s ear which reminded him of the same thing he did when he was studying in 3rd standard about a passmark in the Maths paper. Eventually he failed and cursed god for sometime about that.
Just then a women started to sing Vaishnava Janato and the whole atmosphere changed. There was something divine in her voice which made him break into a million pieces. He realized that his ego walls stood nowhere near his strong love for her. That was all that he could hold on to and he walked out of the temple and dialed the only number he remembered by heart. He said “Ma, Will you sing Vaishnava Janato for me?”
8000 odd miles and 10 and half hours apart his mother had no idea for her son’s sudden urge of viewers request. But as all moms do, she willfully obliged.
Halfway through the song, he was close to tears and confessed “Ma, did I tell you that I love you more than anything else on earth?”
Her reply was simple and sweet “You need not son”.
More Sardar jokes... More fun!
Q. Why can't Sardar dial 911?
A. They can not find the eleven on the phone
----------------------
Q. What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
A. He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
---------------
Q. What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper?
A. As he has already one with him, he takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
---------------
Q. Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A. Because below 18 was not allowed.
---------------
Q. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
A. Stick a tyre pressure gauge in his ear.
---------------
Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
---------------
Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.
---------------
Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
---------------
--------------
Q. Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
A. So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
---------------
Q. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
A. They always forget the recipe.
---------------
Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A. He threw it off a cliff.
---------------
Q. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.
---------------
Q. What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
A. The back of his head.
----------------
Q. Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A. They think their picture is being taken.
---------------
Q. Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First.
----------------
Q. How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
-----------------
Q. How do you get Sardar on the roof?
A. Tell him the drinks are on the house.
-----------------
Q. "Oh, look at the dead bird.
A. " Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
A. They can not find the eleven on the phone
----------------------
Q. What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
A. He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
---------------
Q. What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper?
A. As he has already one with him, he takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
---------------
Q. Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A. Because below 18 was not allowed.
---------------
Q. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
A. Stick a tyre pressure gauge in his ear.
---------------
Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
---------------
Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.
---------------
Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
---------------
--------------
Q. Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
A. So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
---------------
Q. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
A. They always forget the recipe.
---------------
Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A. He threw it off a cliff.
---------------
Q. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.
---------------
Q. What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
A. The back of his head.
----------------
Q. Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A. They think their picture is being taken.
---------------
Q. Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First.
----------------
Q. How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
-----------------
Q. How do you get Sardar on the roof?
A. Tell him the drinks are on the house.
-----------------
Q. "Oh, look at the dead bird.
A. " Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
Presence of mind!
I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago.
While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was a! lso flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.
Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, and I' m waiting for a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say "Hi Tom?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business. A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.
"Hi, Tom," he said.
I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a meeting."
While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was a! lso flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.
Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, and I' m waiting for a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say "Hi Tom?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business. A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.
"Hi, Tom," he said.
I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a meeting."
More Sardar jokes!
Q: What do you call a Sikh who drinks only beer?
A: JUSBEER SINGH.
Q: What do you call a Sikh guy who has only one drink ?
A: JUST-ONE SINGH.
Q: What do you call a Sikh scuba diver?
A: JULL-UNDER SINGHQ:
What do you call a better adapted Sikh diver?
A: JULL-UNDER SINGH GILL.
Q: What do you call a bald Sikh guy ?
A: BALD-EV SINGH.
Q: What do you call a Sikh boyfriend?
A: HER PAL SINGH.
Q: Who is he who has many publications to his credit?
A: JOURNAL SINGH.
Q: What do you call a Sikh guy running towards the enemy camp witha
white flag in his hand?
A: SURRENDER SINGH.
Q: What do you call a Sikh man with only one hair?
A: IK-BAL SINGH
Q: What do you call a Sikh man who is a fast runner?
A: TEJ SINGH
Q: What do you call a Sikh standing on one leg?
A: BALAN SINGH
Q: What do you call a Sikh enjoying a walk in the park?
A: RELAX SINGH
A: JUSBEER SINGH.
Q: What do you call a Sikh guy who has only one drink ?
A: JUST-ONE SINGH.
Q: What do you call a Sikh scuba diver?
A: JULL-UNDER SINGHQ:
What do you call a better adapted Sikh diver?
A: JULL-UNDER SINGH GILL.
Q: What do you call a bald Sikh guy ?
A: BALD-EV SINGH.
Q: What do you call a Sikh boyfriend?
A: HER PAL SINGH.
Q: Who is he who has many publications to his credit?
A: JOURNAL SINGH.
Q: What do you call a Sikh guy running towards the enemy camp witha
white flag in his hand?
A: SURRENDER SINGH.
Q: What do you call a Sikh man with only one hair?
A: IK-BAL SINGH
Q: What do you call a Sikh man who is a fast runner?
A: TEJ SINGH
Q: What do you call a Sikh standing on one leg?
A: BALAN SINGH
Q: What do you call a Sikh enjoying a walk in the park?
A: RELAX SINGH
Sardar jokes
A sardar enters the shop and shouts.. "Where's my free gift with this oil?" Shop Keeper: "Iske sath koi gift nahi hai bhaisaab.." Sardar: "ore, ispe likha hai cholestral free.."
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl. He went and kissed her. Girl : Stupid! What are you doing? Sardar : B.Com second year.
One Person asked Sardar : Tell me the word, which is having more than 100 letters. Sardar replied as... P-O-S-T-B-O-X
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter! At 25flr:I'm unmarried! At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire? Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.
Sardar: I haven't slept all nite in the train. Frnd: Y? Sardar: Got upper berth. Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged? Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
A train suddenly slips into a crop field n stumbled n stops.The driver is sardarji. Passengers: R u blind,how did the train slipped into the field. sardar:A man was standing on the tracks. Passengers:for i man u endangered somany lives, u must have smashed him. sardar:I was trying to do that but he ran into the fields. :-)
ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM,DARLING ON OUR ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING? HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It"s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl. He went and kissed her. Girl : Stupid! What are you doing? Sardar : B.Com second year.
One Person asked Sardar : Tell me the word, which is having more than 100 letters. Sardar replied as... P-O-S-T-B-O-X
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter! At 25flr:I'm unmarried! At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire? Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.
Sardar: I haven't slept all nite in the train. Frnd: Y? Sardar: Got upper berth. Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged? Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
A train suddenly slips into a crop field n stumbled n stops.The driver is sardarji. Passengers: R u blind,how did the train slipped into the field. sardar:A man was standing on the tracks. Passengers:for i man u endangered somany lives, u must have smashed him. sardar:I was trying to do that but he ran into the fields. :-)
ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM,DARLING ON OUR ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING? HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It"s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Husband - Wife jokes
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge:
"Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."
"But why ?" asked the judge.
She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."
The judge asked, "How do you know ?"
She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares to answer her."
One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came
home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.
"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.
"Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."
"But why ?" asked the judge.
She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."
The judge asked, "How do you know ?"
She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares to answer her."
One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came
home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.
"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.
Laloo joke -- Lost in translation
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.
Old Story, New climax
A Bihari hat-seller who was passing by a forest
decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left
his whole basket of hats
by the side.
A few hours later, he woke up and
realized that all his hats were gone.
He looked up and to his surprise, the
tree was full of monkeys
and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari
sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.
While thinking he started to scratch his
head. The next moment,the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he
took down his own hat,
the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea
came to him, he took
his
hat and threw it on the floor and the
monkeys did that too. So he
finally managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Baloo,
also became a hat-seller
and had heard this monkey story from his
grandfather. One day,
just like his grandfather, he passed by
the same forest. It was
very hot, and he took a nap under the
same tree and left the hats
on the floor.
He woke up and realized that all his
hats were taken by the
monkeys on the tree. He remembered his
grand father's words,
started scratching his head and the
monkeys followed. He took
down
his hat and fanned himself and again the
monkeys followed. Now,
very convinced of his grandfather's idea,
Baloo threw his hat on
the floor but to his surprise, the
monkeys still held on to all
the hats. Then one monkey climbed down
the tree, grabbed the hat
on the floor, gave him a slap and said
Guess What????????
"You think only you have a grandfather?"
decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left
his whole basket of hats
by the side.
A few hours later, he woke up and
realized that all his hats were gone.
He looked up and to his surprise, the
tree was full of monkeys
and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari
sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.
While thinking he started to scratch his
head. The next moment,the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he
took down his own hat,
the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea
came to him, he took
his
hat and threw it on the floor and the
monkeys did that too. So he
finally managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Baloo,
also became a hat-seller
and had heard this monkey story from his
grandfather. One day,
just like his grandfather, he passed by
the same forest. It was
very hot, and he took a nap under the
same tree and left the hats
on the floor.
He woke up and realized that all his
hats were taken by the
monkeys on the tree. He remembered his
grand father's words,
started scratching his head and the
monkeys followed. He took
down
his hat and fanned himself and again the
monkeys followed. Now,
very convinced of his grandfather's idea,
Baloo threw his hat on
the floor but to his surprise, the
monkeys still held on to all
the hats. Then one monkey climbed down
the tree, grabbed the hat
on the floor, gave him a slap and said
Guess What????????
"You think only you have a grandfather?"
Understand the requirements -- Y2k - cool joke!
Report from Banta Singh to his manager:
Dear Sir,
Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December
As well as:
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? We'll await your direction."
Very Sincerely,
Banta.S
Y2K Project Leader
Dear Sir,
Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December
As well as:
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? We'll await your direction."
Very Sincerely,
Banta.S
Y2K Project Leader
Gotcha!
A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with very low intelligence read their Emails and articles on the internet with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. :D
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. :D
The one and only TR!
Check this out...
http://images.indiaglitz.com/playerV2/vplayerV71.asp?vid=24561&category=5002
http://images.indiaglitz.com/playerV2/vplayerV71.asp?vid=24561&category=5002
More PJs
1. A boy says to his mom that a cow standing on the road keeps shouting 'F'... 'F'... and surprisingly he's right! How???
Because F=ma ( Newton 's Second Law :) )
2. A boy throws a bottle of Bournvita out of the window. A cat sees it, and takes the bottle of bournvita and buries it under the ground. Why?
Because it's 'CAT-BURIES' Bournvita
3. Who is called female Java?
Java'Gal' Srinath
4. 3 cockroaches are walking on the road. Suddenly 1 of them starts singing 'Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam...' And the other 2 die immediately. Why?
Because it was a HIT song.
Because F=ma ( Newton 's Second Law :) )
2. A boy throws a bottle of Bournvita out of the window. A cat sees it, and takes the bottle of bournvita and buries it under the ground. Why?
Because it's 'CAT-BURIES' Bournvita
3. Who is called female Java?
Java'Gal' Srinath
4. 3 cockroaches are walking on the road. Suddenly 1 of them starts singing 'Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam...' And the other 2 die immediately. Why?
Because it was a HIT song.
Moles and what they say about you
The Chinese Almanac, also known as the Tung Shu, is commonly known as a book of auspicious and inauspicious dates, but there is so much more to the Tung Shu than that. It is a vast mine of information relating to astrology, codes and symbols, derived by the wise sages and philosophers of ancient China. In this issue, we bring to you the secrets from the almanac regarding moles on your face and what they mean depending on which part of your face they appear.
First, check your face for any moles, and then look at the diagram above to identify the number(s) that are a closest match to the moles on your face. Usually, the moles only hold meaning for you if they are prominent and they are the only one. If your face if full of spots, or "little" moles, they do not count. When you've ascertained which position corresponds to the mole on your face, look up the meanings listed by numbers below.
Position 1 to 3
As a child, you are somewhat rebellious and a free spirit. You have an innate creativity and work best when you are given a free hand. Generally, your superiors like your avante garde approach to life. If you have a mole here, you are far better off in business and being your own boss rather than working for somebody. What is promising is that you have the luck to be your own boss.
Position 4
You are an impulsive person, often acting with a flamboyance that gives ! you charisma and a sparkling personality, but you can be difficult when there are too many opinions. You tend to be rather argumentative, but never to the point of holding grudges. This mole tends to give you an explosive temper and should you decide to remove it, you will find yours! elf becoming calmer and more at peace with the world.
Position 5
A mole above the eyebrow indicates that there is wealth luck in your life, but you will need to earn it and work harder than most people. All the income you make must be carefully kept as there are people who are jealous of you who might attempt to sweet talk you into parting with your wealth. Be wary of those who try to interest you in get-rich-quick schemes. If you have a mole here, it is advisable not to be too trusting of others. Follow your instincts and be cautious. And never allow other people to control your finances.
Position 6
A mole here indicates intelligence, creativity and skill as an artist. Your artistic talent can bring you wealth, fame and success. It also indicates wealth luck, but this can only be fully realized! if you follow your heart rather than stick to conventional means of making a living. Success will come if you are brave.
Position 7
Moles under the eyebrows indicate arguments within the extended family that cause you grief and unhappiness. This will affect your work and livelihood. It is advisable to settle any differences you have with your relatives if you want peace of mind to move ahead.
Position 8
This is not a very good position for a mole. Your financial position will constantly be under strain because! of a tendency to overspend. You also have a penchant for gambling. The only thing is you must know when to stop. Meanwhile, someone with a mole here has a tendency to flirt with members of the opposite sex as well as with the same sex. Better be a little discerning where you exert your charms, or you might get into trouble.
Position 9
This mole position suggests sexual and other problems. It is an unfortunate mole and you are well advised to get rid of it. It brings a litany of woes and a parade of problems.
Position 10
A mole here just under the nose indicates excellent descendants luck. You are surrounded by family at all times and will have many children and grandchildren. You have the support of those close to you and will be both materially and emotionally fulfilled.
Position 11
Moles here suggest a tendency to succumb to illness. It is a good idea to have this mole removed especially if it is a large, dark-coloured mole. Otherwise use lots of foundation to cover it.
Position 12
A mole here foretells a successful but also a very balanced life. You are likely to be not just rich, but famous as well. But although you have every opportunity to live the high life, you will have a satisfying home and family life as well. Women with moles here are particularly lucky and tend to be beautiful and glamourous as well.
Position 13
Your children will be a big worry in your life. Your relationship with them is not good. There is nothing much you can do about this except to learn some tolerance!
Position 14
A mole here suggests a vulnerability to food which can be a big problem in your life. You may have allergies against certain foods or you may simply be eating too much.
Position 15
You are a person always on the move and constantly renovating and redesigning your house. You like to be introduced to new things and see new places. You are not happy if you remain in one place for long. You enjoy travel and adventure, and have a very observant eye.
Position 16
You need to be careful when it comes to eating, and also when it comes to your sex life. These are your two biggest problems. You tend to have weight issues which can make you depressed. You enjoy romance, sometimes with more than one person, but because you are a person with some morality, you will feel guilty about it and this will cause you much stress.
Position 17
You will be someone of great social prominence. You are active on the social scene and an excellent conversationalist. There is a tendency to become big-headed about your success, which could lose you your good name. This will affect you deeply because you draw your confidence and self worth from what others think of you.
Position 18
You are a person always on the move. There is a great deal of overseas travel in your life, but you should take extra care each time you cross the great waters, as your mole prefers you to stay at home.
Position 19
You have money luck and many ! good friends, so this is a good mole to have. Your weakness is that you tend to succumb to the charms of the opposite sex. In your life, it is this that could get you into hot water, so do cool your ardour!
Position 20
A mole here can be very lucky or very unlucky. If you have a mole here, you are destined either for extreme fame or infamy. You have great flair for creativity and are also highly intelligent, but your talents can be used for both good and bad. You are not a person to be trifled with for you are no pushover and do not forgive and forget easily. This mole is a mark of someone who will go down in history either as a great or as a tyrant.
Position 21
This is a good mole, as it suggests plenty to eat and drink t! hroughout your life. This mole also brings fame and recognition .
Position 22
Your life is always happy and things go smoothly for you. You could well become a sports superstar if you have the passion for it. Moles at the end of eyebrows also suggest a person of authority and power, so if you are the CEO of a company, you will do very well.
Position 23
You have a high IQ, and you are both brain smart and street smart. You have a highly-developed survival instinct and will lead a meaningful and long life. You will be active until a very old age and will have friends and family around you till the very end.
Position 24
You will achieve fame and fortune in your young age and you are advised to use this period to safeguard your old age, as people with moles here tend to have a harderlife as they get older.
Position 25
You will enjoy good prosperity and recognition luck, but do be careful of excesses. Stay traditional in your attitudes and you will have a long and fruitful life!
First, check your face for any moles, and then look at the diagram above to identify the number(s) that are a closest match to the moles on your face. Usually, the moles only hold meaning for you if they are prominent and they are the only one. If your face if full of spots, or "little" moles, they do not count. When you've ascertained which position corresponds to the mole on your face, look up the meanings listed by numbers below.
Position 1 to 3
As a child, you are somewhat rebellious and a free spirit. You have an innate creativity and work best when you are given a free hand. Generally, your superiors like your avante garde approach to life. If you have a mole here, you are far better off in business and being your own boss rather than working for somebody. What is promising is that you have the luck to be your own boss.
Position 4
You are an impulsive person, often acting with a flamboyance that gives ! you charisma and a sparkling personality, but you can be difficult when there are too many opinions. You tend to be rather argumentative, but never to the point of holding grudges. This mole tends to give you an explosive temper and should you decide to remove it, you will find yours! elf becoming calmer and more at peace with the world.
Position 5
A mole above the eyebrow indicates that there is wealth luck in your life, but you will need to earn it and work harder than most people. All the income you make must be carefully kept as there are people who are jealous of you who might attempt to sweet talk you into parting with your wealth. Be wary of those who try to interest you in get-rich-quick schemes. If you have a mole here, it is advisable not to be too trusting of others. Follow your instincts and be cautious. And never allow other people to control your finances.
Position 6
A mole here indicates intelligence, creativity and skill as an artist. Your artistic talent can bring you wealth, fame and success. It also indicates wealth luck, but this can only be fully realized! if you follow your heart rather than stick to conventional means of making a living. Success will come if you are brave.
Position 7
Moles under the eyebrows indicate arguments within the extended family that cause you grief and unhappiness. This will affect your work and livelihood. It is advisable to settle any differences you have with your relatives if you want peace of mind to move ahead.
Position 8
This is not a very good position for a mole. Your financial position will constantly be under strain because! of a tendency to overspend. You also have a penchant for gambling. The only thing is you must know when to stop. Meanwhile, someone with a mole here has a tendency to flirt with members of the opposite sex as well as with the same sex. Better be a little discerning where you exert your charms, or you might get into trouble.
Position 9
This mole position suggests sexual and other problems. It is an unfortunate mole and you are well advised to get rid of it. It brings a litany of woes and a parade of problems.
Position 10
A mole here just under the nose indicates excellent descendants luck. You are surrounded by family at all times and will have many children and grandchildren. You have the support of those close to you and will be both materially and emotionally fulfilled.
Position 11
Moles here suggest a tendency to succumb to illness. It is a good idea to have this mole removed especially if it is a large, dark-coloured mole. Otherwise use lots of foundation to cover it.
Position 12
A mole here foretells a successful but also a very balanced life. You are likely to be not just rich, but famous as well. But although you have every opportunity to live the high life, you will have a satisfying home and family life as well. Women with moles here are particularly lucky and tend to be beautiful and glamourous as well.
Position 13
Your children will be a big worry in your life. Your relationship with them is not good. There is nothing much you can do about this except to learn some tolerance!
Position 14
A mole here suggests a vulnerability to food which can be a big problem in your life. You may have allergies against certain foods or you may simply be eating too much.
Position 15
You are a person always on the move and constantly renovating and redesigning your house. You like to be introduced to new things and see new places. You are not happy if you remain in one place for long. You enjoy travel and adventure, and have a very observant eye.
Position 16
You need to be careful when it comes to eating, and also when it comes to your sex life. These are your two biggest problems. You tend to have weight issues which can make you depressed. You enjoy romance, sometimes with more than one person, but because you are a person with some morality, you will feel guilty about it and this will cause you much stress.
Position 17
You will be someone of great social prominence. You are active on the social scene and an excellent conversationalist. There is a tendency to become big-headed about your success, which could lose you your good name. This will affect you deeply because you draw your confidence and self worth from what others think of you.
Position 18
You are a person always on the move. There is a great deal of overseas travel in your life, but you should take extra care each time you cross the great waters, as your mole prefers you to stay at home.
Position 19
You have money luck and many ! good friends, so this is a good mole to have. Your weakness is that you tend to succumb to the charms of the opposite sex. In your life, it is this that could get you into hot water, so do cool your ardour!
Position 20
A mole here can be very lucky or very unlucky. If you have a mole here, you are destined either for extreme fame or infamy. You have great flair for creativity and are also highly intelligent, but your talents can be used for both good and bad. You are not a person to be trifled with for you are no pushover and do not forgive and forget easily. This mole is a mark of someone who will go down in history either as a great or as a tyrant.
Position 21
This is a good mole, as it suggests plenty to eat and drink t! hroughout your life. This mole also brings fame and recognition .
Position 22
Your life is always happy and things go smoothly for you. You could well become a sports superstar if you have the passion for it. Moles at the end of eyebrows also suggest a person of authority and power, so if you are the CEO of a company, you will do very well.
Position 23
You have a high IQ, and you are both brain smart and street smart. You have a highly-developed survival instinct and will lead a meaningful and long life. You will be active until a very old age and will have friends and family around you till the very end.
Position 24
You will achieve fame and fortune in your young age and you are advised to use this period to safeguard your old age, as people with moles here tend to have a harderlife as they get older.
Position 25
You will enjoy good prosperity and recognition luck, but do be careful of excesses. Stay traditional in your attitudes and you will have a long and fruitful life!
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