Windows Sounds Song... Must Hear...

Presence of mind!

I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago.

While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was a! lso flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."

"Yes?"


"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, and I' m waiting for a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say "Hi Tom?"

"Sure."

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business. A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.

"Hi, Tom," he said.

I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a meeting."

More Love...

Team Work

Smile!

Appraisal Special

Good joke!

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago", the homeless woman replied. "Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked. "No," I don't waste time shopping", the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight." The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your hubby be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and beautification.

Zodiac and prayers!

ARIES (3/21-4/19): "Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!"

TAURUS (4/20-5/20): "God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, but NOT YET."

GEMINI (5/21-6/20): "God. (Or is it Goddess?).Who are you? What are you? Where are You? How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!"

CANCER (6/21--7/22) : "Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners."

LEO (7/23--8/22) : "Hi Pop! I'll bet you're really proud to have me as your kid!"

VIRGO (8/23--9/22) : "Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don't screw it up like you did the last time."

LIBRA (9/23--10/22) : "Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?"

SCORPIO (10/23--11/21) : "Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the bastards don't deserve it."

SAGITTARIUS (11/22--12/21) : "Oh almighty, all knowing, all loving, all powerful, omnipresent, everlasting GOD, if i have asked u once, i ve asked u a thousand times---- help me stop EXAGGERATING! !!!!!!!!!

!"

CAPRICORN (12/22--1/19) : "Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway."

AQUARIUS (1/20--2/18) : "Hi God! Some say you're a man. Some say you're a woman. I say we're ALL God. So, why pray? Let's have a party!"

PISCES (2/19--3/20) : "Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory."

A Lizard's love

An interesting story of Japanese origin. In order to renovate the house, an elderly gentleman in Japan broke open the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls to absorb the shock due to seismic activities. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, and feels sad. He is still curious, because nail, hammered a year or so back, when the house was renovated.

The lizard has survived in such a position for very a long time! In a dark wall partition without moving, it is impossible and mind boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived without moving a single step-since its foot was nailed! So he stopped his work and observed the lizard.

Later, not knowing from where it came, appeared another lizard, with food in its mouth. For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it since then. It had been doing this untiringly without giving up hope on its partner.

I was touched when I heard this story and started wondering about relationships between family members, friends, coworkers, brothers, sisters.

How many times do we at all stretch our arms to help someone in need. It could be a friend, a colleague or a relative.

Remember:

If you help enough people get what they want, you’ll get what you want.

Either her way or no way!

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the Kingdom >>for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, And Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered. Arthur's question thus: "What a woman really wants?" She said, "Is to be in charge of her own life." Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half. "Which would you prefer? She asked him. "Beautiful during the day ... or at night?"

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch! Or, Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy with?

(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this?) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
What Lancelot chose, is given below:
BUT... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below...OKAY?

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now... what is the moral to this story?

The moral is...
1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

So, always remember: IT'S EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT'S "NO WAY" !!!

Amazing story!

A small story about Great place to work.

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,"
Lord,I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and
the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round
table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled
delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around
the table were thin and sickly.

They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long
handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and
take a spoonful,but because the handle was longer than their arms, they
could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered
at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, "You have
seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same
as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of
stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped
with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well
nourished and plump,laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don't
understand"." It is simple said the Lord, "it requires only one skill.
You see, they have learned to feed each other. While the greedy think
only of themselves."

Moral:
Its people's attitude that makes our place of work, a hell or heaven to
them!! 'Help and Seek Help' this makes all the difference to each
individual's life...and makes our lives hell or otherwise.