Understand the requirements -- Y2k - cool joke!

Report from Banta Singh to his manager:


Dear Sir,

Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.

We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:

Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December

As well as:

Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.

I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? We'll await your direction."

Very Sincerely,


Banta.S
Y2K Project Leader

How'd Companies kill a lion if asked to!

Don't Miss d Last 1(Infy)…



Cognizant Method:

hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.

give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.

hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit

give them same gobi 65 to eat

hire 200 more....... and more .......



TCS method:



hire a lion

give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary

lion dies of hunger and frustration





IBM's metbod:



hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...

he dies of unemployment...



Syntel Method:-



Hire a Cat ...

assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and

make sure that he never reaches onsite.

Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....



MBT method:



hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.

lion dies of the strain?



i-Flex method:



hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari

for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes

alive he will get band movement (promotion)

holy cow dies in fear of the real lion



COSL Method:



hire a lion .

tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...

lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....



Polaris Method :



hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..

change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )

cut down his allowance (coupons etc)

lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....





Patni method:



hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...

the lion dies before joining....





Wipro Method:

Hire a Lion,

give him a mail Id.

he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!



Accenture Method:



Hire a lion....

Send him to chennai

Ask him to stay on bench for a long time

Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada

No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...

No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls

And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".

Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......



HUAWEI Method:



Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...

Give him work of 3 Lions

Tell him to work late and even on weekends...

No time for food and family, automatically die



THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

INFOSYS METHOD:

HIRE A LION…..

SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE

...................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE! J

MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM

……………………………….……LION TURNS INTO CAT

MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM

…...........................................….CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE

SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG

……………………………………MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!

SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS

................................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE … JJJ